PITFALLS OF PUBLIC SPEECHES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM
What not to do with your best man speech. A big like Homer Simpson… This is not how to deliver a great best man speec
OVER APOLOGETIC SPEECH
There’s absolutely no need to apologize in your speech. It is already anticipated that as best man, you’ll give a speech, so don’t apologize. An example of an apologetic best man speech opening might go along the lines of: “Hello ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry but I have been asked to say some words about the bride and groom, and I promise not to be too long and I’ll try not to be boring.” This type of speech opening is terrible. It announces to everyone that not only are you not confident, but you couldn’t be bothered preparing for this day either. The bride and groom should crucify you for this type of speech.
NEGATIVE SPEECH
Negativity has no place at a wedding. They are joyous occasions, so don’t try and bring the mood down with a negative speech. In fact, you’re speech should not have any negativity in it at all. But so you know what a negative speech might look like, here’s an example of what not to say.
“Unfortunately I have been asked to say a few words tonight. I didn’t really want to say anything so didn’t prepare anything in advance. But here goes… The wedding ceremony was nice, although some air conditioning or an open window would have been nice. I could have sworn it was 100 degrees in there. But all the same, I enjoyed the ceremony and I’m sure you all did too. I thought it was funny that when John first dated Jane, he told me that he wouldn’t be interested in marrying her, but nevertheless, here we are today.”
OVER REVEALING SPEECH
An over revealing speech can be an easy trap to fall into. If you’re trying to grill the Groom, or if you’ve previously dated the bride, then telling too much info at the reception is easy to do. Try and avoid these types of speeches by using the Classic Best Man Speech Workbook. It will take you through writing the perfect speech and avoid saying more than you probably should. All the same, here’s an example of an over revealing speech.
“When Tom and I were at Oxford, he assumed the nickname 10 inch Tom. As the name suggests, Tom has a lot going for him. Needless to say, our dorm was the party dorm where our Friday night parties were like something out of the Playboy mansion. I guess that’s were Tom developed his taste for blondes.”
DEPRESSING SPEECH
Don’t be depressing! If you smile while you speak, you’ll find it difficult to be depressing. Remember, the day is not all about you, it’s about the bride and groom, so say some nice words, not depressing ones. But if you’re prone to be depressing, then liven up your speech with toasts, jokes, anecdotes and one liners, if you use the Classic Speeches Best Man Speech Workbook, you’ll find it difficult to depress anyone. But so that you know what a depressing speech looks like, here’s an example of a depressing speech.
“Ladies & Gentlemen, what a wonderful day it was today, except for the fact that Tony’s father could not join us in this momentous occasion. Absent family and absent friends I’m sure were here in spirit, but would have loved being here in the flesh. It’s always difficult when…”
Remember, the audience wants to be entertained. So entertain! Don’t be depressed. If there was a recent death in the family then Don’t give reference to it… it will only conjure up sad thoughts… and that’s not what a best man speech is meant to be about.
UNSUITABLE SPEECH
This one’s a bit more tricky. You need to fit your speech to the occasion, not the occasion to the speech. So do some ground work before you start writing your speech and learn a bit about the bride, groom and their respective families. The last thing you want to do is offend anyone. If it’s election year, avoid talking about politics. Politics are very subjective, so you WILL offend someone in the room if you talk about them… Also, religion… Don’t talk about religion. Once again, you will offend. And lastly, don’t talk about past liaisons. They are guaranteed to offend the two most important people in the room.
OVER THE TOP PRAISE SPEECH
Ok, so you’re the best man, and most likely the best friend of the groom. But you don’t need to litter your speech with over the top praise. The bride already knows the grooms good points, the grooms family certainly does too, so don’t make your speech all about praising the groom. Or the bride for that matter, you need to be conservative with your praise and put your good points into stories or anecdotes that are witty and entertaining. Here’s an example of what not to say in this respect.
“I’m totally overwhelmed by the beauty of the bride. Jane you look amazing today, as you always do. And John, you scrub up brilliantly too. What an amazing day we’ve all had, and I’ve been inspired by the organization of the event too… so well done to the wedding planners, you’ve pulled off one of the greatest events I’ve had the privilege of attending.”
POMPOUS SPEECH
Once again, your primary objective is to entertain. If you see yourself being overly pompous in your speech, then chuck it out and start again. Your number one objecting is to entertain. An example pompous speech might go something like this:
“ladies, gentlemen, and distinguished guests. As Best man of the evening, it is my duty to stand before you all and enlighten you about the many traits of the groom. Being educated with a Phd in psychiatry, I find it rather amusing that…”
DRUNKEN SPEECH
No body likes listening to a drunk. Remember the time when all your mates were drunk, and rambling on, and you had to listen to their bull shit talk while driving them home sober? Well, if you have, then you know too well that you don’t want to be this person, especially at a wedding. There’s no real example of a drunken best man speech that I can give you. But suffice to say, watch your alcohol consumption until after you’ve finished your speech. A little alcohol can take the nerves off, a lot of alcohol can make you a blithering idiot!
UNPREPARED SPEECH
Be prepared. This is the mantra of the boy scouts! This is the mantra of a best man. Do your best by being the best you are capable of being. This means preparation. Put your words down well before the wedding. Practice your speech to a live audience, get feedback and tweak your speech until it is how you first imagined that it would be. Don’t assume that it will be all right on the night, or you may find yourself doing on of the other nine deadly best man mistakes.
TOO SHORT SPEECH
Many forums say “Keep it short and sweet”. And I’d only agree with them if you haven’t prepared anything. Speak for no less than 3 minutes, and no more than 10. But speak for only a minute or two and you’ll probably leave the audience wondering “What happened to the best man speech”.
It is tradition to give a speech, not just a toast, so use the guidelines, research your topic and say a few interesting words, not just “Raise your glass to the Bride and Groom.
