Best Man Speech Five

The Complete Best Man Speech Solution


Do you want to create your own unique best man speech and need some help to pull your ideas together in a logical speech with the polish of a toastmaster? Write a masterful best man speech that will entertain the audience without running the risk of offending anyone in less than 60 minutes.


Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far. It’s been an emotional day, ……..even the cake is in tiers. I would like to start by thanking John for his kind words on behalf of our lovely bridesmaids [Bridesmaids Names here]. I’m sure you will agree they have carried out their role superbly, I would also like to thank the ushers…… for at turning up sober.

I think you will all agree Jane looks one in a million today. And John you look smashing also. Even though it’s plainly obvious that you’ve copied my outfit. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Brent. And I have the honour of being best man. And it is a great honour, but in all honesty I am actually a little nervous doing this, but I feel a bit comforted by the fact I have actually rehearsed this speech in front of a live audience at the local old people’s home, … I think it went well, they all pissed themselves anyway.

I’d also like to congratulate John on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it. During the service today I couldn’t help thinking its funny how history repeats itself, I meanit was [Brides age here] years ago __________________________[Brides parents names here] were sending their daughter to bed with a dummy………and it’s happening all over again today. I have known John for ___________________[how long known Groom] years, he has always loved sport especially football, from an early age it was obvious he was a natural defender, he loved to get stuck in. It’s a shame he hasn’t carried that over to his working life, John work mates have started calling him god at work because they never see him, ….and if he ever does any work it’s a miracle.

Now John has always taken great pride in his appearance, some people have even said he is vain, I never believed this, until the morning we got to the airport to fly off for his stag weekend, he seemed to have a glow about him, all the boys were asking him if he had been using tanning lotion? John denied it profusely. After another pint and a lot of abuse he tried to fob us off with the excuse that he was in such a rush when he got up, that in his haste he had mistakenly put Jane moisturiser on which had tanning in it, sufficed to say he was set upon then until he finally admitted that he bought the stuff himself. I just don’t know how he thought he would get away with it, it was snowing for the whole week before.

I thought I had better find out some interesting events that happened on the day he was hatched. He was born on the _____________ [Grooms D.O.B] which was a Sunday, number one in the charts was Elvis with ‘way down’, now the only other event I found of any importance in this month was the introduction of free family planning. Now I wouldn’t say John was an ugly baby, but _________________________[Grooms Mums name] only had morning sickness after he was born. He was a slightly slow starter as well, at playschool he was different from the other 5 year olds, he was 11. I remember one day sitting in pizza hut, when the waiter asked if he would like his pizza cut into 4 or 8 pieces, John reply was . . . . “You better make it because I’ll never manage 8.” We have always been close, when we were young we would always be playing something driving our respective parents mad, I remember when Ghostbusters the film was at the cinema, we would be upstairs at _____________________ [Grooms parents names here] with all the lights out jumping around like a couple of lunatics pretending to be catching ghosts, our equipment for this was a school backpack and a wire coat hanger each. Well I have a present,……….something you can play with later.…………….. One of my last duties before I toast the happy couple is to read a few cards…… To John and Jane, hope you have a wonderful day, sorry we can’t be there lots of love…___________________ [friends name here] I would like to say best of luck to the two of you , I really am absolutely delighted for both of you. I hope you have a long and happy future together.

It now gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses to the new Mr & Mrs _____________________[Grooms last Name].. To John and Jan