Eighth Best Man Speech

The Complete Best Man Speech Solution


Do you want to create your own unique best man speech and need some help to pull your ideas together in a logical speech with the polish of a toastmaster? Write a masterful best man speech that will entertain the audience without running the risk of offending anyone in less than 60 minutes.


Now before I get started, I’d like to make sure everybody can hear me….can you all hear me? For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Brent and for those of you that do …
well I apologise.
Firstly I would like to welcome you to this special celebration of John and Jane Marriage. Now Before I hand you over to the father of the bride I would just like to say a big “Thank you” to the bridesmaids.__________________ , flower girls ___________________ and page boy __________________ because they have all done a marvellous job in helping Jane, and look so fantastic!

Indeed they are only eclipsed by Jane herself, who, I’m sure you’ll all agree, looks absolutely stunning today. John, on the other hand, just looks stunned.
Actually the Ushers look great today and did a great job standing at the door I do have a reputation for rabbiting on, so I will try and keep this as brief as possible. There’s been a lot of cards and well wishes from many friends that couldn’t be here today. I’ll read out a few of them now:

To Steve and Lindsey I’m Sorry I could not marry u myself so I got one of my mate s to do it, but best wishes on your special Day ….From the Pope. Congratulations on your special day we will miss u. From the fantasy lounge xxx Before we go any further, I’d like to thank the Vicar for what was a truly lovely service…..
John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes. Before I begin Jane would u place your right hand on the table, John would u place your left on top of Jane. All will be reviled in good time. I can confirm to you all that last night he slept like a baby………that is he wet the bed twice………..and woke up several times crying for his MUMMY! I have never been a best man before, and I am not renowned for my speech writing, but I’ll
try my best. Because John said if I do a good job today, I can be Best Man at his next wedding, too.

The only problem we’ve seen so far is that John and Jane had a bit of an issue with the seating plan, because they really couldn’t decide where ever I should sit. So John, in his true fashion, decided to link it to the wedding present list. He decided to put those who brought the biggest items nearest the front, and work back from there……………So [pick out someone from the back of the wedding] [pause and look around at the back for that person] John and Jane wanted to say thanks for the coasters!
Now as I mentioned, it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest I wanted to make the process as easy as possible. So where do you begin for ideas? The obvious place seemed to be the Internet, so with a multitude of resources at my fingertips I dutifully began searching the web. After a couple of hours searching I found some really good stuff, but ….then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for Best Man tips!

I did actually find loads of ready‐prepared speeches on the internet…. but sadly, none of them were about a couple called John and Jane ….so it looks like it’s down to me after all. As part of my research I discovered that according to tradition I am supposed to sing the grooms praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well, I’m very sorry but I can’t sing, and I won’t lie. Jane’s a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one! Seriously though John, you are a lucky man you’ve got Jane. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring. And Jane, you’ve got..…………John. Instead of stories you will have to listen to my martial advice. I’m not sure I’m the best person to dish out advice! But I do have the following words of wisdom for the happy couple.

  1. Firstly, set the ground rules and establish who the boss is: Then do everything she says
  2. Married life can be compared to football. So be fully committed every week and makesure you score at least once every weekend. Make sure you change ends at half time. Putyour tackle into it hard or you might injure yourself. However, Jane assures me that playingaway from home, will result in a serious groin injury and is definitely the quickest way to getyourself on the transfer list.
  3. Remember the 5 rings. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, the suffering, the
    torturing and the enduring
  4. Don’t forget if u buy her flowers, she knows your guilty, and she will remember to the
    second the very last time you bought her some …

It has been an honour and a privilege to be the best man today. Thanks again for letting me have the job! And honestly, I couldn’t wish for a better friend to be best man for. I think you will all agree that today John truly is the best man and apart from Jane being the most stunning person in the room, she is also the luckiest. Now it gives me great Pleasure to ask you all raise your glasses for some very important people, without them the day would not be the same, would raise your glasses in my toast… to The bar staff!!

Now in case any of u are wondering why I asked John to place his hand on Jane. I will tell u now, John as my final role, it is with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the last 5 minutes in which you will ever have the upper hand on Jane. May your love be modern enough to service the times and old  fashioned enough to last forever.
If you would all be up standing in my toast To the new Mr and Mrs Smith
Jane and John